Top Ten 2006

Posted on December 31, 2006 by jhoffman

Weekend Top Ten, or Three, or Whatever It Takes

The Full Cleveland
Who isn’t an idiot?
Tewkesberry Slushies

Top Ten Reasons Why Weekend With William is Better Than A Trip To Europe (Submitted by Weekender Mike)

10. Getting bombed means something different here
9. Don’t have to compete with ducks in Enlarged Liver contest
8. It’s $3972.00 cheaper
7. Two-and-a-half hours after you leave the house: Tarmac at O’hare vs. Lawn Chair at Ewing Manor
6. Still Chester After All These Years
5. Deodorant
4. Hotel room keys fit in your wallet
3. If you forget something you can just drive back and get it.
2. Pretentious cheese comes with handy labels, in English
And the #1 reason…
1. Bring all the gel you want!

Posted in 2006 - WwW VI, Top Ten | Leave a comment

Poetry 2006

Posted on December 31, 2006 by jhoffman

Bragging Wrights

Expectation laden I with weary writing tool fashion-conscious thoughts
Not too enlightened minds stimulation or pause
But soul leeward seeking only recognition
Again too Basque in past and future imagined glories
Beret cocked and goat tea drinking wino that I be
We bragging wrights of words and rites and rights
Pro and con test entering fools
Ripe now pick-me-up, up to heaven, pick me.
— Mike M.

Unnamed Fibonacci

1) rhyme
1) mood
2) not me
3) but structure
5) I can work with that
8) who really thinks the play’s the thing?
13) there’s one or two here. But they won’t admit it, will they?
21) of course it’s the good food, good drink, good friends and making a complete ass of yourself.
— K. Dicke


Who am I?

I was thinking just the other day
I’ve really come a long long way
Old Milwaukee and Cheetos were a treat
Jerry Springer’s show could not be beat
Then along came a guy named John
Who said come to Bloomington
Now it’s framboise and sheep’s milk cheese
And pooh poohing the choice of Pericles
— D. Dicke

Who are we?

John
Ed
Sharon
Mikottis
Bryan, Kurt, Debra
Oh, and another John and Sharon
And this guy that I don’t know that comes down tomorrow.
— D. Dicke

Beats Me
(A Somewhat Sonnet, on the occasion of Weekend With William, the Sixth of that name)

Begin the spin: Friends, blowhards, funny men, blend
Me a Rum Runner (extra rum). I come not
To praise us, but to mock. How is it we wend
From “wherefore”, “thine” and strange cross-gartered plot –
To glowing lake and Yukon shortcut? No beret
And snifter crowd, we. But, stink – what bag,
Pretentious, through yonder tub emits? To frappe
This mix of high and low sans reflex gag:
For best results, clump it all and hit puree.
We pulse and crumb, and liquefy Prosperos
Against the timbers of a Grady; or fold a
Faux Pho with Elizabethan heroes.
Can one great word totally explain us?
Methinks ’tis this: Cornholioanus.
— YOS (John H.)

Unnamed Fibonacci

Me
You
Us Two
Yes We go
Plan, Do, and We
Everyone together having fun
Hoping and wishing for some [unreadable] do,
— Sharon II

The Brylenderku

[Sound of blender turned on and off, five times, then seven times, then five again.]
— Bryan
(Recipient, Grand Prize Rubber Chicken Award)

Bryku

Who would have thunk it
A nice breeze at the Ewing
Wow that was quite nice
— Bryan

Untitled
I,
Yi,
Yi Yi,
I am the
Frito bandito
— presented by Kurt

Posted in 2006 - WwW VI, Poetry Slam | Leave a comment

The First Annual Gown of Humility Contest Winner Contest

Posted on July 1, 2006 by John Kieken

The First Annual Gown of Humility Contest Winner Contest

In a new Weekend tradition, the Gown of Humility winner each year will be asked to design a contest for next year’s Gown awarding. This year’s contest is brought to us from Deb Dicke.

What: Bloomington Shakespeare Photo Scavenger Hunt

How: Take pictures that represent words on this list. Pictures must be taken en route or in the Bloomington area. Submit your entries – 1 picture per word per person max. We’ll compare head to head and award the points for each word to the consensus winner. Creative verbal justification encouraged. Including WwW6 participants in pix a plus. Most points will win the treasure trove of prizes and will proudly sport the Gown of Humility for the next year.

Equipment needed:

1. Digital camera and way to download to my computer (USB cable or PCMCIA card)*
2. Polaroid
3. Regular film and 1 hour developing
The word list (culled from a list of words attributed to Will.:

1. Zany
2. Obscene
3. Obsequiously
4. Laughable
5. Worthless
6. Rant
7. Discontent
8. Unreal
9. Fashionable
10. Torture
I have 2 digital cameras so I can loan one. Anyone else who can contribute to the pool for those who are hopelessly last century?

*preferred. We are working audio/visual support possibilities in the party room.

Posted in 2006 - WwW VI, Rules (Know 'Em So You Can Break 'Em) | Leave a comment

Top Ten 2005

Posted on December 31, 2005 by John Kieken

11) I’m not a huge coconut guy. (Hoffman.)

10) I didn’t throw the wine at the wall. (It was all a misunderstanding.)

9) Not only the poem … but the whole world makes sense. (Upon listening to Which Folio Malvolio?)

8) I think they serve breakfast. (Reference unclear, but one suspects the result was not happy.)

7) Hoffman: I think Springfield has been pooh-poohed. Schneider: I already poohed it.

6) Hence the name Lake Evergreen … This looks and smells like what’s at the bottom of a port-a-potty. We now know why they call it Lake Evergreen.

5) Observe him, for the love of mockery, for I know this letter will make a competitive idiot of him. (Twelfth Night, 2.5.16)

4) Will the Laura Bush cookies make me dull and inflexible? (Probably, Linda, but your fav/unfav poll numbers will be great!)

3) Uncle Herschel’s colitis was acting up. (Cracker Barrel offered ol’ Unc’s favorites for breakfast. The choice of Metamucil or Pepto-Bismol was at least appreciated.)

2) The knorks never really took off. (Sporks, on the other hand …)

1) My son is dead? (And the winner of the Sofia Coppola Unexpected Inflection award goes to …)

And this late but classic entry: It doesn’t have to be funny to be good comedy.

Posted in 2005 - WwW V, Top Ten | Leave a comment

Poetry 2005

Posted on December 31, 2005 by John Kieken

Oh Shakespeare Where Art Thou?
An Ode to the Fest in Four Parts

There’s a Western we know, not the best
Which we visited each year at the fest
They took us for granted
We became disenchanted
Now Country Inn is the place that we rest.

We ate breakfast at Denny’s this time
The food was simply sublime!
They serve a Grand Slam
Cakes, hashbrowns and ham
Uncle Tom’s is more famous for slime

Grady’s was the site of our play day
The Eighties were clearly its heyday
We declared war
On poor Steve on the shore
Mateys, it was more than just an OK day

Kurt’s favorite is Cornholioanus
Since then all he does is complainus
He said of King Lear
Itís the same every year
I left him at home. What a painus.

— Kurt and Deb Dicke

Which Folio Malvolio?
Weekend With was
Once wicked
When winsome wenches
Walked with
Wacky William wonks
Willing, waiting
Wondering when
Wouldst windward
Washboards wend
Wicker
Whatchamacallits.

William.
Shakes spear.
Throws spear.

Ophelia pain.

— Mike Mikottis

Heat
It was very hot
Nary a breeze to be found
I thought Iíd pass out.

— Bryan Schneider

The Accidental Bryku
(On Reaching To a Napkin)
Looks like Bryan is
Going for another Haik –
U – having a snack

— The collective

Untitled
Oh Jack Kerouac
You spin in your grave to think
This is now the Beat.

— Rob Douglas

Lake Evergreen
By the shores of the opaque lake
Thinking swimming in it a mistake.
Don’t open your eyes
Or so you might die.
Hey John stop throwing grapes.

— Bill Douglas

E=mc2
Ophelia
Pain
Hamlet
Those eggs be
Montague
Let’s Make a deal
Capulet
Fly off in the wind

— Mike Mikottis

What Rhymes With Framboise?
Or, an Ode to Bloomington/Normal
(a/k/a the Reminder Sonnet)

Shall I compare Weekend to a stilchester
In Illinois’ sun? It shan’t, methinks, stink
That much. Anon, then, friends, might I pester
Y’all – though ha-ha be our goal – upon the brink
Of our jaunt, remember these for thee:
Foods to bring and wine to taste, poetry weíll
Slam. If caravan you’ll join, mail of e
To me please send. All else forget, till
Full on City Twin banquet we groan
(And from our hotel probíly out get thrown).

Trick Forks
Bryku Two, being a post-Weekend lament
on the ephemeral nature
of Pleasure, regretfully submitted
by YOS (Your Obedient Servant)

You salaam to cheese
O’erhead green breezed leaves snap now
You’re sporting salad

Untitled
Oh Malvolio
You are a crazy bastard
Nice yellow socks man

— author unknown

Posted in 2005 - WwW V, Poetry Slam | Leave a comment

User Comments 2005

Posted on December 31, 2005 by John Kieken

More quote whore testimonials

  1. I truly enjoyed hovering over the cheese buffet table.
  2. What goes on here stays here (for the most part)
  3. Let’s open another bottle of wine.
  4. You could easily spend thousand more and not have a better glow-in-the-dark experience.
  5. Fun fun fun, now where’s my pants?

Person I’ve come most to despise over the weekend and why

  1. Uncle Herschel
  2. Sharon – Obvious reasons (Ed. note: Most literary critics believe this entry to be meant satirically, pointing out that there is more than one Sharon and that these Sharons are delightful people.)
  3. Actor who played MacBeth.
  4. Mike – his knowledge of wines.
  5. Am I limited to only one?
  6. Bryan – bad case of self-loathing.
  7. That lady with the raffle ticket hat, because it’s a job I could have had.
  8. John Hoffman, the Tyrant
  9. Kurt Dicke, for not showing up.

Suggestions for next year

  1. More Fascism.
  2. Just keep up the good work.
  3. Side trip to Southern France.
  4. Bloody Mary Station.
  5. John H. should dress in costume.
  6. An afternoon of corn shucking.
  7. Have a crew for set up and breakdown and clean up at the Ewing Manor.
  8. More autocracy, less democracy.
  9. Personal liquid-cooled helmets with WwW logo
  10. Other than the weather, it’s been perfected.
Posted in 2005 - WwW V, Survey Says... | Leave a comment

Top Ten 2003

Posted on December 31, 2003 by John Kieken

10) Let’s set up by the fallen tree.
(John’s suggestion, rejected silently, daily)

9) Oh, damn straight, Gary’s going to hear about this.
(Gary, president of Steak and Shake USA, wanted to hear our printed clearly comments.)

8) Everyone’s afraid of the aspic.
(Webster’s: “A clear jelly typically made of stock and gelatin and used as a glaze or garnish or to make a mold of meat, fish, or vegetables.”
Us: The goo on the stilchester. Spoken around 2:30 a.m. in Room 214.)

7) Sans moo.
(All the world’s a Steak and Shake. As Elizabeth liked it, her coffee was without cream.)

6) Faux Pho.
(What they would make at the Vietnmese diner downtown if they ran out of the real thing.)

5) Stew reminds me of soup.
(At the Vietnamese diner downtown. Context unclear.)

4) My what a pretentious bag of cheese. And look what she’s carrying.
(Bryan with the set up, Deb with the punchline.)

3) You don’t have to go around, Ed. You have a Yukon.
(Advice from Elizabeth to Ed, in response to the recognition that a lawn separated the current from a desired location.)

2) They’re where the beach towels used to be.
(Question from Deb Dicke: “Excuse me” (asked at the Target whilst attempting to accouter ourselves with swimming finery) “but can you tell me where the swimsuits are?”)

1) Excuse me, but I didn’t order the falafel.
(Or mayhap these be so-called “hash browns” referenced in the menu of victuals. {Spoken while breaking fast at the Steak and Shake.} )

Posted in 2003 - WwW III, Top Ten | 1 Comment

2003 Invitation

Posted on January 1, 2003 by jhoffman

The Third Annual
Weekend With Wm.
(In Other Ways Styled The Stilchester and Framboise Festival)

Friends, Romans, Countrymen —

Now Winter angry with hoary breath our
town he bestride. But think you our wondrous habit,
of Cheeses rank and wines too sweet, of hour
under Bloom’ton stars, and bunny wabbit
chased by mean ol’ cat. ‘Tis time, ’tis now or
never, to order tickets, so say I; I blab it.

Yes, time for the Third Annual Weekend With Wm., in delightful Bloomington, Illinois. This year, the plays are on Friday and Saturday nights, July 25th and 26th. I’ve checked with the box office, and tickets are already going fast fast fast.

As is our custom, we’ll meet at my house in Glen Ellyn Friday afternoon to caravan down for our picnic at the estate. “As You Like It” is at 8 o’clock. To the pubs afterward. On Saturday, shop, golf, bike, or whatever in the afternoon. At 8, we watch “King Lear” go loop-de-loo-loo before our eyes.

The tickets will be about $55 per person, depending on whether there are enough people to get a group discount. That includes both plays. The hotel should be around $70/night… again depending on availability. If you wish to partake, please just let me know by March 20th . I’ll order the block of seats and get you the phone number of the hotel weíre staying at. We can settle accounts later.

Questions? Drop me an e-mail or give me a call. My numbers is 630-942-1202. Hope yuh can make it!

Posted in 2003 - WwW III | Leave a comment

Invitation to Ww/Wm II

Posted on January 1, 2002 by jhoffman

The Second Annual
Weekend With Wm.
(In Other Ways Styled The Stilchester and Framboise Festival)

Friends, Romans, Countrymen —

The play’s the thing! That, plus the fancy cheeses and pretentious after-dinner wines.

Liketh thou watching players under the stars? Evening picnics upon yon beautiful estate? Bloomington, Illinois?

If thou answer yesth, then come partake of the Second Annual Weekend With Wm. (as in William, as in Shakespeare.) As we did last year, a troupe of folk is heading to Bloomington for the Illinois Shakespeare Festival. Itís a fun group, great plays and a zany get-away overall.

This year, we’re going to go on August 2nd and 3rd, a Friday and Saturday. The plays are “Romeo and Juliet” and “The Merchant of Venice.”

Here’s the deal:

Friday, August 2nd.
Caravan leaves Glen Ellyn at 2 p.m-ish. It’s a two hour ride to Bloomington. We check into our hotel, then go to the Ewing Estate. Blankets get spread out, and out come the wine, cheeses, and picnic dinners. “R & J” at 8 p.m. under the stars. To the pubs afterward. (If you can’t be part of the caravan, we’ll meet you at the Estate.)

Saturday, August 3rd.
Work off last night with a hearty Central Illinois breakfast. Shop, golf, bike, or whatever in the afternoon. Meet for dinner. At 8, we go see the “Merchant” under the stars. Then anyone who wants to can head home, or you can stay over Saturday night.

The tickets are about $55 per person, depending on what block of seats I can get. That includes both plays. The hotel should be around $70 … again depending on availability. If you wish to partake, just let me know. Unfortunately, theyíre going really fast and I need to order soon. I’ll order the block of seats and get you the phone number of the hotel weíre staying at. We can settle accounts later — and, no, it wonít be a pound of flesh.

Questions? Drop me an e-mail or give me a call. My numbers are 630-942-1202 (home), and 630-690-7100 (office).
— John

Posted in 2002 - WwW II | Leave a comment