Made to be Broken

Posted on August 16, 2011 by jhoffman

Like previous Weekends, we have a carefully considered a complex itinerary and schedule, which, it is to be expected, will be violated before we even start.  As follows:

Friday, 26th

Dinner and drinks at the Lodge starting mid-afternoon

Blah blah Shakespeare blah.  Play starts 8pm

Vote on Malvolian of the Year and Top Ten from Weekend X.  Ballots will be provided.  (Email me or post any late entries.)

Cocktail Contest Part One

Saturday

Daytime beach and boating fun at Governor Dodge State Park

Cocktail Contest 2.0 back at the lodge

Smokin Mikottin dinner extravaganza

Gown of Humility contest (Dicke)

Retro Game Night and Recitation of Poems XI

Sunday

Big Breakfast

Weekend Awards Ceremony, including the Kulm Kocktail Trophy

Top Ten XI Development and customer satisfaction survey

 

 

 

Posted in 2011 - WwW XI, Announcements | Leave a comment

Poems … We got poems

Posted on September 25, 2010 by jhoffman

___________

Pate Haiku

Canard in a can
melt-in-mour mouth force fed duck
Don’t eat the cat food

_____________

Wily Willy Weekend
-Words and music by: Shakey Willy Wordsmith
(aka Muddy Mississippi Mike Mikottis)

The Wily Willy Weekend
Willy stay, or will he go?
The written words we’re speakin’
We stole from him- don’t you know?
Come for the cabin fever
Maybe stay to see the show

The Wily Willy Weekend
We just say the things the play
But it’s more a stage we’re going through
Playing here on this fine day
Hard to say just what is Normal
Until you’ve been there for two days

The Wily Willy Weekend
In the cauldron boil and bake
Cobby corn and clammy taters
In the embered whole we make
Discontent made glorious summer
We ourselves are at the stake

____________________

Meow

Wally the Brat Cat
Oh! Jump in that kitchen sink
Meow of Triumph

– S&M

___________________

Untitled

Funny hats and masks
Pretend or reality?
Truth in the falsehood.

– S&M

___________________

Oft Worn, Never Washed *
(An annotated ten-year walk through
Weekend wearing the GoH)

And if what’s-been and laughs, like stilchester
Crumbs, affix themselves to you, this half score years?
A cloying framboise spot first will mess your
Markdown fibers.(1) An iron burn by Ed.(2) And there’s

Some cream from one weird udder.(3) A cleaning
Now from Triple Cripple water(4); then muck –
Eww, yuck! Lake Evergreen, you suck.(5) Careening,
A sprig hits from out the blender.(6) What the …. Luck

Would have it: A hair or two off Milli.(7)
Did those unnerving stains come from Rayburn
And from Ludden?(8) At least swale smudged grass, willy
Nilly, is covering up your Cockburn.(9)

Gown! Your blotched textile – but polyester –
Is our fine yarn, where, O Future Folly: Fester!(10)

— Your Obedient Servant

(1) You are encouraged to ask Weekender Mike where one might wake up after a night with Deb’s cheese tubs and really sweet wine.

(2) Continuing apologies to the Pixilated Weekender.

(3) WwWm Three shout out to the Twin Cities Steak and Shake and the inventor of single serve containers.

(4) Grady’s Family Fun Park is ironically not ADA compliant.

(5) Btw, has anyone ever seen Brackish Stink as a green paint sample at Restoration Hardware?

(6) Art historians believe Weekend Six witnessed the creation of the first small appliance-based Japanese verse, the Brylenderku.

(7) RESOLVED, “our kind of people” had a little more fun riffing on Match Game then with the Gribbles that year.

(8) Aris-TOPH-anes?

(9) Yes, yes, we know that’s not how it’s pronounced.

(10)To be fair, GoH is only 40% synthetic fibers. Anyway, here’s to a happy X and many more to follow!

* Disturbing title coined by Weekender Ed

+++ Voted Malovolian of the Year X +++

________________________

Try Real Hard Not to Be a Jerk

-Words and music by: Shakey Willy Wordsmith
(aka Muddy Mississippi Mike Mikottis)

instrumental opening

Try real hard not to be a jerk
Try real hard not to be a jerk
It may look easy but it’s alot of work
Try real hard not to be a jerk

instrumental finish

Posted in 2010 - WwW X, Poetry Slam | 2 Comments

Why We Love Weekend

Posted on September 14, 2010 by jhoffman

Quote Whore Quotes X:

Cedar Valley Lodge: Now with Clam Pit! (Beth)

It’s Worth the Mosquitoes (Beth)

Something to do when you really don’t have anything else to occupy your time (Steve)

Brought out the hunter in me (Melissa)

Ejaculating quote whores welcome! (Mike)

More fun than a Dane County Farmer

Posted in 2010 - WwW X, Survey Says... | Leave a comment

Top This: The Official Weekend X Top Ten

Posted on September 14, 2010 by jhoffman

Top Ten for 2010.

1) Q. You mean there are drinks that don’t have alcohol in them? A. Yes, those are called “mixers”. (Mike with the Q. Hage with the A.)

2) Bivalves don’t wear hats. (Chris deconstructing “Clam, I Am.” From Steve.)

3) I’ve been in your underwear for 15 minutes (Mary Jo to brother John; a reference to the scavenger hunt, mind you. From Steve.)

4) Smell Cap Bone. (John Hoffman’s charades clue — sounds like Al Capone. From Beth)

5) I picked up a clam with my sausage. (Said Kurt. From Beth.)

6) How many soldiers is that worth? (From Melissa, in regard to the GoH scavenger hunt)

7) I thought she had a good hand when she asked for one card, but then I remembered she doesn’t know how to play poker. (From Melissa.)

8)The Friday hat plethora. (From YOS)

9) Steve, please let some air into the vault. (From Melissa, said during our bank-turned-restaurant visit)

10) Kapanke for Kapongress. (Specualtion by John, Mike and Bryan as to what might be the slogan of the Kapanke for Congress kampaign- question arising after seeing the yard signs scattered throughout the Lone Rock-Spring Green-Mineral Point corridor.) …  Speculation that reason only last name is used on signs is due to an inconvenient full name, such as: Hank E. Kapanke. (From Mike.)

Other submissions …

C) I can see into your soul. (Robert the Doll quotation. From Beth.)

K) A chicken in every Ka-pot. (Another kapossibility. From Mike.)

L) Kapossible headline if campaign fails: Kapanke Kaput. (From Mike.)

 

Posted in 2010 - WwW X, Top Ten | Leave a comment

From the 2009 Customer Evaluation Form

Posted on August 9, 2010 by jhoffman

Quote whoring:

You can visit Wisconsin and leave your firearms at home. (Andrea)
I’ve participated in Weekends of all kinds in my adult career. This sets the standard for Williams. Tour de force!
(Deb)
Who’s in charge of all this chaos?
We are tramps for the trampoline (Steve)
All the karaoke you can stand! (Beth)
We made it to single digit. (Bryan)
It’s only once a year. (Mike)
As seen on TV! (Rosenkrantz)

My unspeakable erotic fetish (customers were guaranteed anonymity):

The soft flesh just below the last rib bone. (Andrea)

Well, first I order some shoes from Zappos. Then when the UPS man comes, I say, “Thanks, see you soon.” Then I try them on with a bunch of the clothes I have in my closet. Then I get a Diet Coke and watch “Cake Boss.” (Deb)

Midget orgy. (Steve)

Crayons. (Beth)

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX | Leave a comment

From the Customer Evaluation Form

Posted on August 9, 2010 by jhoffman

Quote whoring:

You can visit Wisconsin and leave your firearms at home. (Andrea)
I’ve participated in Weekends of all kinds in my adult career. This sets the standard for Williams. Tour de force!
(Deb)
Who’s in charge of all this chaos?
We are tramps for the trampoline (Steve)
All the karaoke you can stand! (Beth)
We made it to single digit. (Bryan)

My unspeakable erotic fetish (customers were guaranteed anonymity):
It’s only once a year. (Mike)

As seen on TV! (Rosenkrantz)

The soft flesh just below the last rib bone. (Andrea)

Well, first I order some shoes from Zappos. Then when the UPS man comes, I say, “Thanks, see you soon.” Then I try them on with a bunch of the clothes I have in my closet. Then I get a Diet Coke and watch “Cake Boss.” (Deb)

Midget orgy. (Steve)

Crayons. (Beth)

Posted in 2010 - WwW X, Survey Says... | Leave a comment

Tell the Muses what you really think of them

Posted on July 12, 2010 by jhoffman

Friday is I Can’t Believe It’s Not Poetry Night. The winner (chosen by the audience, usually without regard to skill or sobriety on anyoneís part) is named Malvolian of the Year and earns a minimally interesting gift award.

Any form of poetry is acceptable, though the Homeric Epic has been largely discouraged. One may wish to study previous entries for inspiration, or perhaps as a form of aversion therapy. Among favorite forms for Weekenders have been:

The Haiku. Three lines (5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again) with no need to rhyme. The last line is often zany. Special credit is typically awarded for a Bryku, which, of course, is one that makes some reference to Weekender Bryan.

The Fibonacci. (hat tip to Kurt): Number of syllables per line as follows: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, etc. (if you need to know any more beyond that, you should probably consult either a math textbook or the expiration date on your medication bottle).

The Elizabethan Sonnet. Written in iambic pentameter, the rhyme scheme is a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g. The last two lines are known as a couplet and often act as a summation or conclusion, though just as likely they were slapped on at the last minute.

_____________

Comment from: Deb Dicke [Visitor]
What? No Femalvolian of the Year? I may have to muster up some sort of protest. Actually, I’m not one to really muster, so don’t expect much.

 

Posted in 2010 - WwW X | 1 Comment

The “Weekend’s Got No Talent” Contest

Posted on July 12, 2010 by jhoffman

There’s no doubt, lined up side to side and head to toe, we Weekenders have just as much talent as any randomly chosen cross-section of any Westernized nation. Let’s prove that to ourselves!

Contest Rules

Rules for the first annual Weekend’s Got No Talent Contest are very simple. Just plan on getting in front of the group, and start performing. Music, acrobatics, oratory, origami, humming through an unexpected orifice: Whatever you think will win you the smallest amount of derision.

Everyone will get up to ten minutes (and no fewer than nine) to impress the audience. We’ll all take turns on the Rotating Panel of Snark, fill out our ballots — and announce the winner!

Contest balloting criteria:

1. Overall Quality, 25%
2. Creativity, 25%
3. Sheer Willingness to Risk Humiliation, 35%
4. Costume/Props, 25%

NB: Baton-twirlers or similar acts using batons, machetes, knives etc., will not be accepted. No fire, smoke or smoke-effect will be allowed on stage at any time. Unless they’re really really cool.

If anyone has any special equipment or other needs, please notify YOS presently.

Posted in 2010 - WwW X | 5 Comments

Clams and more

Posted on July 11, 2010 by jhoffman

The Weekend highlight will be Saturday’s authentic clambake. Weekenders Mike and Bryan are taking the lead for us. We’ll probably hit local eateries Friday and Saturday afternoon and figure out a breakfast strategy.

More to follow closer to W-Day.

Posted in 2010 - WwW X | Leave a comment

Hither/Thither

Posted on July 11, 2010 by jhoffman

Shall we meet up at Hoffman House on Friday (the 13th) at 10 in the morning? Plenty of diversions shall usher us up to the lodge. Feel free to use this blog for other travel related discussions, too, for example, who wants to drive? Plus when are people coming home?

Posted in 2010 - WwW X | 1 Comment