Odes to Weekend

Posted on August 19, 2009 by jhoffman

In the Comments Section below, please offer your vote for the 2009 Malvolian of the Year Best Poem

______

William Weekend in Wisconsin

For not faint hearted
Lacerated toe in Moccasin
Gangrene hath started

– Scott
_____

I Hate Haikus

I hate haikus lots
Stupid little pointless things
Wait I just did one

– Alex
______

Gownku (courtesy FTD)

For the gown winner
Prancing and dancing with glee
Welcome to the fold

– Melissa
______

William Weekend Nine

William Weekend Nine
Exposed to William first time
Cover my ta-ta’s

– Andrea
______

A Bovine Fantasia

How now, cow
You are brown
Or black
Or even moo of blue
There is no verigation
In your pigmentation
Your single hue
Is pleasing to the eye
Standing stark against the sky
You, rumen true,
Do but chew
Converting grass of green
To nectar white
Which passes then to local cheeseries
Where Kelly, of hair color light,
Does regale with tales of muenster, swiss and cheddars all
Until we, few merry band,
Do pretentiously munch from mouth to hand.

– Bryan
______

Lodge Sonnet: A Tete-a-tete
Between Pheasants,
One Worried, the Other Not

They’re blind! – squawked Fred’rick – gullet flushed of hope.
That walls that in iced days release their scent
Of slaught’rous beast should in summer not scope
Our urge to preen and plash. O joy is rent!

Hang on, says Murray. I seen this gaggle.
I heard ‘em come; you won’t believe their story.
We know rifle butts, but malmsey? A bag’ll
Cheer ‘em – if it’s got brie instead of quarry.

You see they brought no dogs? I heard one say
They couldn’t kennel theirs, not knowing whether
He’d feel lonely. When they say “game”, they mean play,
Not us! Brykus? Gowns? Don’t ruffle a feather.

Thus Fred’rick warbled odes: ’Tis this I wished!
Till he, by a misthrown water balloon, was squished.

– John

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX, Poetry Slam | 6 Comments

Balloting is now open

Posted on August 19, 2009 by jhoffman

Please carefully review (and snigger at) the following Top candidates and then cast your ballot for your favorites in the “Leave A Comment” section. Feel free to add another candidate there, too.

A) If you’ve crossed the Mississippi, you’ve probably gone too far. (Mike, based on a true story during the trip home. No, there is no Dubuque, Wisconsin.)

b) I believe in pleasure units! (Andrea)

C) You’re lucky I didn’t have my bare ass on that one. (Andrea, shortly after the sublime sound of a whoppee cushion echoed through the ballroom.)

D) Go tell them we blew a fuse in the ballroom. (Utterer unknown. From Deb.)

E) Why can’t anyone make a decision? (Alex — so wise so young. From Deb.)

F) Peel! Peel! G-dam it! (Chris, in between bellowed accusations of cheating by Team Red. From Deb.)

G) Is there an event for sucking? (Bryan. From Deb.)

H) Worst idea: Flag run. Best idea: Bananagram. Runner Up: Caption Slam. (Sharon [?])

I) If it’s not extreme, I won’t do it. (Steve. Too bad they didn’t have extreme showers at the lodge … No-no, we kid, we kid!)

J) You are already all winners. (Beth. Nice try, but.)

K) Caption Slam — best event. (Beth)

L) No U-Turn: Breaking the law! (Beth)

M) Dodgeville: What the hell? (Quoth Deb, in reference to painted-over Farrah Fawcett signature. From Beth)

N) Chris you’re next. (Robert the Doll. From Beth)

O) Well, we did put the button on him and made the sign … but he was here. (Bryan, referring to Newbie Weekender R the D.)

P) Sweet at first, then sour. (Alex, referring to self.)

Q) Do you have some crackers? (Chris got hungry while cars left the parking lot. For the record, the nervous occupants claimed they did not. From Alex.)

R) I’m a good listener. (Ribbon assertion. From Amy.)

S) Princess power. (Amy.)

T) Can you take the dead body in the woods when you leave? (Amy.)

U) I wasn’t gonna, until you said “”Blow chunks.”” (In response to Make’s question whether the roller coaster car ride was going to make anyone blow chunks. From Mike.)

V) OK, let’s move the cheese out! (Mike.)

W) NPR Presents The Soothing Musings of B. Schneider. (What are those vocal chords made of anyway, warm butter melted on velvet? From John.)

X) Guys, what about the swale!? (Safety Officer Andrea doesn’t want any twisted ankles. From John.)

Y) Seriously, you are going to have to stop that. (Chris, presumably supine and in near whisper, apparently not appreciating his 11:55a wake-up call courtesy of Alex, a microphone and an amplifier. From John.)

Z) That’s not bug spray. It’s Easy Off Oven Cleaner. (Mike at APT. From Bryan)

AA) Sure, I never mind a little Cockburn. (And variations of same. It is believed Scott introduced us to this game.)

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX, Top Ten | 6 Comments

Gown of Humility 2009

Posted on August 10, 2009 by jhoffman

From Weekender and GoH 2008 Winner Steve:

Think of Survivor, Wait..Wait Don’t Tell Me, and Hollywood Squares then mash them all together, add paper crowns and tiaras, and you get the Gown of Humility Challenge 2009*.

Do you know your Weekend with William and Shakespeare trivia? Can you get from point A to point B? Do you look at a Picasso and say to yourself “That makes sense?” Can you dress yourself? If you answered Yes to all then you are sure to be a winner! (But then again, EVERYONE is a winner. Except maybe the poor weekender who receives, nay, EARNS the Gown of Humility.)

Come prepared to scratch and fight to avoid the ignominious fate of being the keeper of the GoH for the next year and having to think of a clever way to get rid of it.

* Games of skill, chance, and just dumb luck. Recommended for ages 5 and under.

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX, Announcements | 3 Comments

The Weekend Olympiad

Posted on August 6, 2009 by jhoffman

Can not one appreciate Shakespeare and also the grace of simple athletics? … Probably not. But that won’t stop us from inaugurating the Weekend Olympiad this year.

Let us know what games you’ll be bringing up, or if you have any competitive ideas — and not just those involving the projecting of spheres and being somehow shod.

Drinking games?

Mind games?

War games?

Saturday night, we’ll offer awards to the winners and, naturally, scorn to everyone else!

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX, Announcements | 2 Comments

Cruising: Whaddaya wanna be on and in?

Posted on July 17, 2009 by jhoffman

For our Saturday cruise, we have a couple options. Canoeing down the Wisconsin River near Spring Green or paddling about Governor Dodge State Park. Preference? If we do the river, you’ll have a choice of kayak or canoe. What’s your pleasure? The State Park doesn’t take reservations, so we’d end up with whatever is available when we show up.

River: www.wiriverside.com/CanoeTubeKayak.htm
Park: www.dnr.state.wi.us/org/land/parks/specific/govdodge/index.html

Also, any other thoughts for Saturday during the day or nighttime fun?
www.southwestwi.com/
www.midcontinent.org/news/news21.html (Thanks to Weekender Mike for finding this.)

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX | 3 Comments

Surfeit’s up! (The grub and glug-glug blog)

Posted on July 4, 2009 by jhoffman

As in years past, Your Obedient Servant (with help from the Mikottii) will bring along the nucleus of our meals — main meats and muffins mainly. (A $20/Weekener donation for food and fun costs will be greatly appreciated.) If everyone else plans on bringing side stuffs, snackables, and desserts, we should have some mighty fine eating throughout the weekend.

We’ll probably have four meals at the lodge: two breakfasts, one lunch, one dinner. Plan on going out to a fish fry on Friday night. (For planning purposes: There will be about 16 of us.)

Please “comment” here to let us know what you will be sharing with the group.

Grazie.

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX, Food & Beverage | 13 Comments

I hate haikus lots | Stupid little pointless things | Wait I just did one

Posted on June 5, 2009 by jhoffman

What, besides tolerable, would Weekend be without our Annual “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Poetry” Slam. The winner (chosen in theory by the audience but in effect by the cocktail bar) is wreathed with honor as Malvolian of the Year and earns a minimally interesting gift award at best.

Any form of poetry is acceptable, though the Homeric Epic has never been a big hit. One may wish to study previous entries for inspiration, or perhaps as a form of aversion therapy. Among favorite forms for Weekenders have been:

The Haiku. Three lines (5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again) with no need to rhyme. See Weekender Alex’s entry in the title above. The last line is often zany. Experts say a haiku should show rather than tell, whatever that means. Special credit is typically awarded for a Bryku, which, of course, is one that makes some reference to Weekender Bryan.

The Fibonacci. (tip of the porkpie to Kurt): Number of syllables per line as follows: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, etc. (if you need to know any more beyond that, you should probably consult either a math textbook or the expiration date on your medication bottle).

The Elizabethan Sonnet. Written in iambic pentameter, the rhyme scheme is a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g. The last two lines are known as a couplet and often act as a summation or conclusion, though just as likely they were slapped on at the last minute.

From Deb: http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/types.html

Limericks anyone?

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX, Poetry Slam | Leave a comment

Are we there yet? (The transportation blog)

Posted on June 5, 2009 by jhoffman

Who’s up for starting Weekend early? We’d meet up at my house at 10 on Friday morning (the 14th) and hit an appropriate amount of pubs and cheeseries on the way. Suggestions for stops are welcome. Also, let us know if you’re willing to drive.

Feel free to open up any other caravan/carpool-related discussions, too.

(My address is 184 Tanglewood Drive, Glen Ellyn.)

– YOS

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX, Car Pooling | 3 Comments

Compleat the Caption Contest

Posted on June 1, 2009 by jhoffman

From Weekender Mike …

Help capture the essence of “Weekend With” and aide in the production of humorous promotional materials, and indeed, help us find new ways to self-absorb together more fully. The idea is this: best photo matched with best completion of the phrase:

“Weekend with William: _________________ .”

Happily, we have stumbled upon a methode of drawing this out for several weeks:

Parte One: Findeth Canon (or Nikon) Fodder. Deadline: May 29th
Nominate a happy few (no more than five) Photographical Evidences for captioning. Seeke out the Funny, Interesting or Outrageous vistas and visages crying out for a smart-alecky remarking. It’s EASY:

FIRST: Choose from our vast Website Repository (simply enter “www” in the Search box to view all images in one sumptuous heape! (or click HERE)) and THEN: send us (mmikottis@gmail.com) the names.

OR: send us (mmikottis@gmail.com) as yet undisclosed photos of your own devising- under the sole condition that said images contain the captured living essence of at least one Weekender.

Parte Deux: Chooseth The Fertilest of the Fodder. Deadline: June 12th
Each of us shall then commence to voting for our favourite features of the fetid heape. For your ease of choosing The Management shall compile all fodder into a single convenient ballot and display it prominently and publicly, to the shame and community horror of all.

Then, commence you to Vote for your top three favorites of these , in rank-order, fixing the first as your rankest (most favoured) choice. The Management shall further endeavour to tally all votes using a weighted scale. (Notice Well: Your first choice will be worth 4 points, second choice 2 points, and third choice 1 point.)

The top five vote getters will thus in the next stage be elevated to the status of target practice for our rapier (butter-knife?) wits.

Parte Drei: Affix Thine Captions! Deadline: June 26th
Compleat the following caption for any and as many of The Fetid Fertile Five Finalist Photos as tickle your fancy cross-gartered leggings and send us (mmikottis@gmail.com) the name of the photo and a clever compleat-tion of:

Weekend with William: _____________________

We shall affix the captions to the photos.

Parte Four: At long last, exercise your estate! Deadline: July 10th

Vote for your singular favourite. The winningest entry will be immortalized in a Tee Shirt- to be announced on 15 July Bastille Day and to be awarded to the photo submitter and the captioneer with a most pompous presentation en lodge. This, and a selection of other popular runners-up designs will all be made available for ordering en line prior to the Weekend.

OK, don’t just sit there, LOOK AROUND!

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX, Announcements | Leave a comment

Announcing WwWm IX

Posted on June 1, 2009 by jhoffman

Good Friends All —

How’s this sound: Partying at our own private hunting lodge, summer booze cruise, reliving the swinging Seventies at an authentic Midwestern “supper club,” complete with gimlets, giant steaks, and grasshoppers … This year, Weekend w/Wm is August 14-16 in Spring Green, Wisconsin.

Here’s the plan: Friday: Wend up to Spring Green – Cocktails and dinner at Thym’s Supper Club – Play on the hill (playinthewoods.org) – After-Party at Ceder Valley Lodge …. Saturday: Big Weekend Breakfast at the lodge – Boozing ‘n’ cruising – Cookout and Party …. Sunday: Big Breakfast II – Rewend home.

We’ve got a limited number of sleeping rooms reserved at the lodge (cedarvalleypreserve.com) and more at the nearby Spring Valley Inn (springvalleyinn.com). See the official Weekend site weekendwithwilliam.com for more exciting details (click “Agenda”).

Please let me know by June 1st if you’re interested in joining the fun. I’ll fill you in on all the particulars, like costs, caravaning, times, probability of cheese tours, etc.

Hope you make it this year! Your Obedient Servant,

— John

Posted in 2009 - WwW IX | Leave a comment